Do you ever watch those renovation shows on TLC or a home and garden channel? Do you find it difficult to only watch the first half? I don’t spend a lot of time watching TV, but if I see the beginning of one of these types of shows, I HAVE to watch the entire thing, or at least flip back to behold the dramatic transformation at the end. I’m struck by our human thirst for transformation. There is something so moving and exciting and hopeful about seeing the before and after of a home or room or garden being redone, or a makeover where personal beauty is revealed in a new unexpected way.
Along my own transformative journey, I desire less and less to receive help (though there is a time and place for that) and am now seeking new habits of thinking, new ways of talking to myself, “parenting” myself, and interacting with life and others- essentially, I’m seeking better ways of helping myself. In true freedom, I can see that change does not fundamentally involve changing the outer things. It’s easy to get stuck trying to fix all the outer things in an effort to change the inner things. And this has a place too, but at the deepest root of change there lies a decision to believe differently about a thing, to believe differently about myself, to believe differently about others and my interactions with them. The outward transformation ripples out from a change at the root.
I open myself up to receive new definitions of love and what is “best”. And what I’m discovering is that in order to receive the new, I have to let go of the old. It’s a continuous flowing process. Old comfortable habits of reacting to mistreatment, or trying to feel valuable by defining myself with outward things are cumbersome. They take up too much inner space, and they rob me of having the clarity and the receptivity to receive what is better, more alive, more life giving. Sometimes embracing the new feels like going over a jump on a snowmobile at 120 km/hr. Thrilling and scary at the same time. But the more I make room to receive the new, the more familiar it becomes to me. The more I see my new habits improving my life, the more I inclined I am to seek out even better ones.
For Christmas I wish you whatever amount of courage, vision and desire you need to let go of that which holds you back from thriving in the life you were created to live, to engage in the process of continually receiving and letting go. Merry Christmas.