Understanding Trust and Getting Trust and Love Mixed Up

I was told to trust abusive manipulative people while they were hurting me, all the while “soothing me” in quiet “loving” hushed tones with “trust me, I won’t hurt you”. “Trust me” I am doing this because “I love you”. My definitions and understanding of the words “trust” and “love” grew from these false statements from others.

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“YOU’RE NOTHING BUT TROUBLE” by Fi Macleod

I went into the room where my grandparents and mother were. There were two paedophile friends in the room with them. There were 5 grownups in that room – my grandparents, mother and two paedophile friends of the family. None of those 5 grownups saw anything being wrong. Instead the impression was what was happening was ‘normal’, nothing was wrong, except for me, everything about me was “wrong” or so I was told often enough. So if I was surrounded by grownups who all thought nothing was wrong then I must be wrong to think it’s wrong.

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How Blame, Guilt and Shame get Misapplied to Self

The belief system that I am constantly speaking of does not form all at once or form completely from one event. This is where it gets complicated. Other events factor into it, some of them normal healthy childhood events that may have familiar feelings attached to them, and it is really easy to lump them … Continue reading "How Blame, Guilt and Shame get Misapplied to Self"

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