The Roots of Self Blame and Blame Sharing

I asked myself if I needed to live in survivor mode anymore; did I still need those coping methods; were they still serving me? Was exactly was this “victim mentality” ~ how did it get there in the first place and did it still assist me or was it in my way? And perhaps the most important question of all; Is it true that I share in the blame for any of the neglect, abuse, disregard, failure to protect and mistreatment that I had been subjected to as a child.

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Why Setting Personal Boundaries is Not as Easy as it Sounds

“I learned to set boundaries by realizing where they were missing in my life. I learned where they were missing in my life by seeing the truth about abuse etc. As long as my value was in question (by me as a result of the way I had been defined) I could not set boundaries.” … Continue reading "Why Setting Personal Boundaries is Not as Easy as it Sounds"

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Self Care and Nurturing ~ What is Your Self Talk Like?

How do you talk to yourself? Are you loving and patient with yourself or are you the evil boss in your own life? Are you understanding and nurturing towards yourself or are you constantly nagging and reprimanding? When you think about re-parenting yourself, do you think about the kind of parent that you would have … Continue reading "Self Care and Nurturing ~ What is Your Self Talk Like?"

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My Mother Doesn’t Love Me and the Process of Grieving

Unconditional love towards my mother on my part no longer looks like me accepting her devaluing and abusive actions and regard towards me. Unconditionally loving my mother is only possible when I respect and love myself in the true definition of love. Relationship with my mother is not possible when the price that I pay includes sacrificing my human rights, individuality and self-esteem.Today I am free of that false system and false definition of love! I love in truth and equality. I see myself as equally valuable to all others. My self esteem is strong and healing more all the time!

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The Fear of Not Being Loved Ruled my Life

Love is not facilitated through FEAR of loss. Love is not determined by “being good enough” or “not good enough” for someone else. Love is not based on performance. I was taught to love unconditionally by people who conditionally loved me. In truth, they didn’t love me at all. They owned me and they taught me that as long as I complied with their wishes, they would value me. That is not love...

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