The Roots of Self Blame and Blame Sharing

I asked myself if I needed to live in survivor mode anymore; did I still need those coping methods; were they still serving me? Was exactly was this “victim mentality” ~ how did it get there in the first place and did it still assist me or was it in my way? And perhaps the most important question of all; Is it true that I share in the blame for any of the neglect, abuse, disregard, failure to protect and mistreatment that I had been subjected to as a child.

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Smile ~ An Example of Belief System Formation

Hearing this stuff made things far worse for me. Hearing their judgments increased my fear of being rejected and of being thrown away. Hearing this stuff confirmed that something WAS wrong with me, (just as I already suspected) and that I wasn’t good enough or worthy enough. If only I could just pretend to be happy and remember to smile. I couldn’t force myself to smile and that make me feel like a failure. My belief system was well on the way to cementing the self blame.

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Overcoming that Nasty Self Blame from Dysfunctional Relationships

I was taught that I can change my thinking by practicing a new thought or belief over and over again, (positive affirmations or positive thinking) the truth was that until I found the original false belief and dispelled it, the original belief was there underneath whatever new thought I was trying to implement. Furthermore the original belief was still my default mode. So until I found the original belief, where it came from and what was untrue about it so that I could change it to the truth, I could not find the freedom and wholeness that I have now. All the “positive thinking” in the world did not change my “default mode”.

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You Reap What You Sow ~ What about Child Abuse

Did I sow the seeds of deserving abuse? Did I do something to bring that on myself? Was I sexually abused because I had “sown bad seed?” Was I neglected because I had not sown the right seeds? I believed that I deserved the strap that I endured many times; I was told that I deserved it. I was literally brainwashed to accept that I had brought all abuse on myself. And I certainly believed that I did. You reap what you sow.

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The Deadly Side of Accountability

Contemplating Freedom There are several really HOT topics when it comes to recovery. One of them is “accountability” I’m talking about the destructive practice of “self blame” that is disguised as the virtue of accountability. This week I posted the following update on the Emerging from Broken facebook page: “Recovery started with me. That alone … Continue reading "The Deadly Side of Accountability"

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