Narcissism vs. Narcissistic re Mother Daughter Relationship Problems

Narcissism vs. Narcissistic in Mother Daughter Relationship Problems Someone on the EFB facebook page wrote (in a comment to someone else) that I say that my mother is a narcissist and that she was mentally ill. I have never actually said that. I have said that my mother has narcissistic tendencies. I don’t actually think that … Continue reading "Narcissism vs. Narcissistic re Mother Daughter Relationship Problems"

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Toxic Mother Daughter Relationship and Oprah Winfrey’s Mother

This part of the quote in the statement “Oprah does not love her mother at all...She gives her a great deal financially but she does not give her the respect and affection a daughter should, and that bothers me.” ... well that Really bothers ME. Respect and affection? That phrase made me cringe. We are supposed to give our mothers affection? Why? Even if they beat us? Even if they sexually abuse us? Even if they disregard us as human beings and neglect our emotional health? This whole thing implies that being a daughter is a duty; that this “duty” has guidelines that need to be abided by or else you are NOT a good daughter.

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I Vowed I Would Never be like my Selfish Unloving Mother

Somewhere along the line I decided that my needs would never come before others because that would mean that I was “like my mother” and in putting myself or my needs before anyone else would be showing those same signs of narcissism and since I had learned as a child that my needs didn’t matter, it was easy for me to stop listening to myself and discount my own needs. I was proud of myself for doing it! That decision represented the vow that I made not to be like my mother.

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My Mother Finally wanted to BE My Mother

Remembering dysfunctional moments and situations like this one has helped me to see the dysfunctional mother daughter relationship that I had with my mother through clear eyes and through the grid of truth. These truth based recollections have helped me to realize that I was not the one that was wrong, that it was not ME that had unreasonable expectations. Even sick and with a new born baby, I still did not qualify. She still came first. She still got to decide the way things would be.

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