Tips on Getting Through Christmas and Family Dysfunction

I was originally going to title this post “Tips on Getting through Christmas Holidays when Family is an F Word” but I thought perhaps that would offend people who saw it here or in EFB Facebook so I amended the title, but I still wanted to share it with you because sometimes that is how I … Continue reading "Tips on Getting Through Christmas and Family Dysfunction"

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Why People Discount the (Adult) Child and Defend the Abuser

“They say “But she is your Mother!” and I respond “Yes, and I am her Daughter”.  Darlene Ouimet I have found so much freedom in realizing that I don’t have to explain or justify my decision to draw boundaries with my parents or with anyone else, to anyone. I don’t have to help people ‘understand … Continue reading "Why People Discount the (Adult) Child and Defend the Abuser"

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Brainwashing in Dysfunctional Family Systems and that deep down feeling of Unworthiness

Every so often I get a comment that I just have to share with everyone because it is so full of the truth that can help so many others. This is one such time! This comment from Doren came in on my article “Survival Mode and an Alternate view of Narcissism.” Doren has given me … Continue reading "Brainwashing in Dysfunctional Family Systems and that deep down feeling of Unworthiness"

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Survival Mode and an Alternate View of Narcissism

“Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it’s not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don’t value themselves … Continue reading "Survival Mode and an Alternate View of Narcissism"

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‘Make better Choices’ and other Directionless Directives

This week I keep running across sayings, posters and quotes that I find frustrating because they are all sayings and directives that I believed in and strived towards for so many years. The problem was that in reality I was spinning my wheels and not really making any progress with moving forward and away from … Continue reading "‘Make better Choices’ and other Directionless Directives"

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Official Notice to Oppressors, Abusers and Perpetrators

When someone convinces you that you are "nothing" without them so they can take credit for the ideas and gifts that you bring to the table, that is psychological abuse. This happens often when the associate is a person with positional power, such a a therapist, dr. lawyer, priest or pastor or anyone who thinks that they have more value than you do.

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Saying Sorry Doesn’t Automatically Cancel the Damage

My mother has never tried to make amends to me or in any way tried to restore our mother daughter relationship, so in healing from the damage caused to me in our dysfunctional and toxic mother daughter relationship I learned that I could heal without my mother making any amends. I don’t need the “other person” to “do” anything in order for me to recover.

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