guilt and shame Archives - Emerging from Broken

Christmas With, or Freedom from, Dysfunctional Families

Posted: December 24, 2012 Under: Family By Darlene Ouimet 128 Comments

I have been sick for almost 2 weeks which has been very bad timing for the Emerging from Broken website as the holidays are the busiest time of year for comments and private emails. I have been unable to answer them all this year. By the time I began to recover from the illness I … Continue reading "Christmas With, or Freedom from, Dysfunctional Families"

Understanding Trust and Getting Trust and Love Mixed Up

Posted: March 10, 2012 Under: Freedom & Wholeness By Darlene Ouimet 56 Comments

I was told to trust abusive manipulative people while they were hurting me, all the while “soothing me” in quiet “loving” hushed tones with “trust me, I won’t hurt you”. “Trust me” I am doing this because “I love you”. My definitions and understanding of the words “trust” and “love” grew from these false statements from others.

Pathetic ways Controllers Make you Feel Guilt and Failure

Posted: March 02, 2012 Under: Mother Daughter By Darlene Ouimet 139 Comments

Those messages are not anything even remotely related to love. Those statements come from dysfunctional family belief systems. They show examples of dysfunctional mother daughter relationship. They reveal how my toxic and manipulative mother regarded and defined me as stupid, unable to take care of myself and disrespectful to her wishes and her “sacrifice”

When Mental Health Providers are not Helpful by Kylie Devi

Posted: January 20, 2012 Under: Therapy By Darlene Ouimet 112 Comments

I am pleased to have guest writer Kylie Devi writing about Unhelpful Mental Health Providers this week at Emerging from Broken. Many of us have been through the mental health system with less than wonderful results. In this post Kylie shares examples of how helping professionals failed her in her quest to overcome the … Continue reading "When Mental Health Providers are not Helpful by Kylie Devi"

We are Taught Don’t Get Raped instead of Don’t Rape

Posted: October 17, 2011 Under: Self Esteem By Darlene Ouimet 49 Comments

We live in a society that teaches “don’t get raped” instead of “don’t rape”. And we wonder why we are so filled with guilt and shame when we get raped. We mistakenly believe that we somehow didn’t prevent ourselves from getting raped. It's as though the weight of the crime should be shared between the victim and the perpetrator or even worse that the weight of the crime rests mostly on the victim.

If Happiness is a Decision WHY Couldn’t I Make It?

Posted: August 02, 2011 Under: Depression By Darlene Ouimet 96 Comments

Today I can decide to be happy but that was never possible with I lived with the black cloud of the past and all the lies that belonged to it. It was in facing the past that I let it go, found peace and regained my ability to choose. Happiness can be a decision now but I rarely think about it, because I am so rarely UN-Happy

How Blame, Guilt and Shame get Misapplied to Self

Posted: February 26, 2011 Under: Self Esteem By Darlene Ouimet 62 Comments

The belief system that I am constantly speaking of does not form all at once or form completely from one event. This is where it gets complicated. Other events factor into it, some of them normal healthy childhood events that may have familiar feelings attached to them, and it is really easy to lump them … Continue reading "How Blame, Guilt and Shame get Misapplied to Self"

How One Trauma Led to Several False Beliefs

Posted: February 23, 2011 Under: Survival By Darlene Ouimet 52 Comments

in the mind of a child I remember when I was talking about my first memory of being sexually abused. As I was speaking out loud about the details, being prompted for other tiny details and trying to remember even the thoughts I had about the trauma, I suddenly realized that I thought I could … Continue reading "How One Trauma Led to Several False Beliefs"

Effects of Abuse. Guilt, Shame and Solutions

Posted: September 05, 2010 Under: Freedom & Wholeness By Darlene Ouimet 26 Comments

In this post I have purposely not defined exactly what kind of abuse I am talking about. Really they all cause similar damage. It is my hope that the reader will define “it” for themselves as it has impacted their own life. I was convinced that if I kept “it” a secret that no one … Continue reading "Effects of Abuse. Guilt, Shame and Solutions"

WHO AM I? Will I like Me?

Posted: August 31, 2010 Under: Depression By Darlene Ouimet 28 Comments

I remember the day that realized that I was no longer attached to my former identity. My former identity is the identity that was given to me by my family and almost every significant relationship I ever had since a very young age with the exception of a few special girlfriends and maybe a couple … Continue reading "WHO AM I? Will I like Me?"

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