My Mother Finally wanted to BE My Mother

Remembering dysfunctional moments and situations like this one has helped me to see the dysfunctional mother daughter relationship that I had with my mother through clear eyes and through the grid of truth. These truth based recollections have helped me to realize that I was not the one that was wrong, that it was not ME that had unreasonable expectations. Even sick and with a new born baby, I still did not qualify. She still came first. She still got to decide the way things would be.

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Adult Victims of Child Abuse Still Need to be Heard

I found out that millions of people struggling with depression, addictions, post traumatic stress, self harm issues, dissociative identity disorder and many many other issues also struggle with this same confusion around the dysfunctional family system and the accepted protection and “respect” for the “authority” who is so often the perpetrator of abuse and emotional mistreatment instead of regard for the child victim

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Damaging Labels and Dysfunctional Family History

We live in world of people who don’t know their own value, because it was never shown to them by their own (dysfunctional) parents. And then when we reach a certain age, we are expected know how to take care of our own self esteem. We are expected to have self confidence. And all the while parents and relatives are STILL reminding us that we are less than them. Still teaching that “love” is about how we treat them, but has nothing to do with how they treat us.

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Dysfunctional Extended Family ~ The Mean Aunt that I Loved

My Aunt would often ignore me and shoot me dirty looks, as though my very existence was in her way. She gossiped and lied about me to the rest of the family. Living all my life in an “obligation system of love” I had to be grateful that she was allowing me to live with her. I had already been groomed to just be quiet and put up with it. Compliance is the dysfunctional family way.

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My Mothers Narcissistic Reaction to my Book Idea

Several years ago, I excitedly told my Mother over the phone that I was going to write a book about my process of recovery from chronic depression and dissociative identity disorder.  She reacted with strange sort of hesitation.  She didn’t ask any questions; she didn’t actually acknowledge this information at all.  I was used to … Continue reading "My Mothers Narcissistic Reaction to my Book Idea"

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Mom and Grandma had a Dysfunctional Mother Daughter Relationship

From Surviving to Thriving Through  the comments discussion on my recent post “My Value and Learning to Love MY Self” here on Emerging from Broken, Lynda recently asked me the following question and since it is such a popular question I thought I would answer it in a post all its own.  Lynda says: Darlene, … Continue reading "Mom and Grandma had a Dysfunctional Mother Daughter Relationship"

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The Deadly Side of Accountability

Contemplating Freedom There are several really HOT topics when it comes to recovery. One of them is “accountability” I’m talking about the destructive practice of “self blame” that is disguised as the virtue of accountability. This week I posted the following update on the Emerging from Broken facebook page: “Recovery started with me. That alone … Continue reading "The Deadly Side of Accountability"

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Conflicting Feelings of Rejection when the Abuser Withdraws

All abuse, whether it is emotional and psychological abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse or spiritual abuse, is abuse and that these articles that I write on Emerging from Broken apply to ALL kinds of abuse.  I intentionally make a connection between depression, dissociation, multiple personality, eating disorders, addictions and other mental health struggles and abuse. … Continue reading "Conflicting Feelings of Rejection when the Abuser Withdraws"

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More on Mother Daughter Dysfunctional Relationship

Mommy Please….   “If your progress in recovery is thwarted each time you see your family, if you revert to being a subservient or a fearful child, then you may need to stop seeing them for a while. Most importantly, you may need time to develop your own separate “self”, since it may be impossible … Continue reading "More on Mother Daughter Dysfunctional Relationship"

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