Domestic Violence Dream Triggers a Realization

It was as though I suddenly realized that her rants and rages had their foundation in her belief that I had hurt her perhaps on purpose; that I had actually “set out” to wreck things “for her” and that I had control over those things. I felt as though her disgust with me had to do with her false belief that I could make her world perfect if only I “wanted to”.

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We are Taught Don’t Get Raped instead of Don’t Rape

We live in a society that teaches “don’t get raped” instead of “don’t rape”. And we wonder why we are so filled with guilt and shame when we get raped. We mistakenly believe that we somehow didn’t prevent ourselves from getting raped. It's as though the weight of the crime should be shared between the victim and the perpetrator or even worse that the weight of the crime rests mostly on the victim.

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Psychological Abuse, Domestic Violence and the Belief System

When I was about 19, I worked with a woman who was getting knocked around by her boyfriend. We were all trying to convince her to leave him. Domestic violence ~ physical abuse is a chargeable offence! One day she came into work with a swollen eye. We were all saying “Okay that’s it ~ you have to get out!” and she said that this time it really was her fault...

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Permission to Live; Busting through Beliefs and Survival Systems

I wondered “how I should feel” instead of having feelings. It was like I had to have the “right” to have my own feelings. I was not given permission to feel. “I am scared”, was met with “don’t be silly, there is nothing to be scared of.” “That hurts” was met with “no it doesn’t” and when I think about it today, how did someone else KNOW if something hurt me or not? How many times do kids get slapped when they yell “OW”? How validating is that?

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