Narcissism vs. Narcissistic re Mother Daughter Relationship Problems

Narcissism vs. Narcissistic in Mother Daughter Relationship Problems Someone on the EFB facebook page wrote (in a comment to someone else) that I say that my mother is a narcissist and that she was mentally ill. I have never actually said that. I have said that my mother has narcissistic tendencies. I don’t actually think that … Continue reading "Narcissism vs. Narcissistic re Mother Daughter Relationship Problems"

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‘Make better Choices’ and other Directionless Directives

This week I keep running across sayings, posters and quotes that I find frustrating because they are all sayings and directives that I believed in and strived towards for so many years. The problem was that in reality I was spinning my wheels and not really making any progress with moving forward and away from … Continue reading "‘Make better Choices’ and other Directionless Directives"

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To Heal from Emotional Damage Know what the Damage Was

The biggest obstacles in my way were avoiding looking at how I used by others, how I was objectified and not considered to be equally human, and how I was failed by others. By avoiding looking at the truth about that, I was able to excuse the damage they caused. I excused them because I had to. As a child, survival is of the utmost importance and if we start complaining about the people who are failing us, but are also in charge of our welfare, it is a pretty sure fact that we are not going to survive.

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Standing up to Damaging Advice and Overcoming Trauma Directives

  People always told me things like “deal with it” and “get over it” and “put it behind you” They always seemed so impatient with me and even exasperated that I was still “there” and not over it. Has anyone ever given you instructions on HOW to “deal with it”? Have you been giving information … Continue reading "Standing up to Damaging Advice and Overcoming Trauma Directives"

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Feeling Responsible for Reactions and Outcomes

My mother was fragile. She was prone to depressions and what she called nervous breakdowns. She made it very clear all of my childhood that if I upset her, she would have a “breakdown”. My mother ended up in the hospital when I was little with what was called “a nervous breakdown” back then. I am sure that this event had a major effect on me and that it settled somewhere in my belief system and added to my beliefs that if I upset someone they may end up in the hospital and everyone knows that people die in hospitals...

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My Mother Doesn’t Love Me and the Process of Grieving

Unconditional love towards my mother on my part no longer looks like me accepting her devaluing and abusive actions and regard towards me. Unconditionally loving my mother is only possible when I respect and love myself in the true definition of love. Relationship with my mother is not possible when the price that I pay includes sacrificing my human rights, individuality and self-esteem.Today I am free of that false system and false definition of love! I love in truth and equality. I see myself as equally valuable to all others. My self esteem is strong and healing more all the time!

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