Self-Love and Navigating the Waters of Grief By Carrie H.

Please join me in welcoming Carrie H. and her debut article on Emerging from Broken.  Carrie writes in a brilliant style filled with emotional honesty and compassion both for herself and for others who understand the grief we feel when we find it necessary to draw a boundary with our own families of origin. I … Continue reading "Self-Love and Navigating the Waters of Grief By Carrie H."

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The Reason People don’t Hear what You are Trying to Say

That night I came home and burst into the house excitedly telling my husband Jim that his father was an abuser! I stated something like “I know what is wrong in our lives…YOUR father is an abuser!” My husband looked shocked and then he started to look angry. I started to explain what I was learning about how people misuse their power to overpower others and my husband Jim was looking at me like I was nuts! This was HIS father....

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Smile ~ An Example of Belief System Formation

Hearing this stuff made things far worse for me. Hearing their judgments increased my fear of being rejected and of being thrown away. Hearing this stuff confirmed that something WAS wrong with me, (just as I already suspected) and that I wasn’t good enough or worthy enough. If only I could just pretend to be happy and remember to smile. I couldn’t force myself to smile and that make me feel like a failure. My belief system was well on the way to cementing the self blame.

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“YOU’RE NOTHING BUT TROUBLE” by Fi Macleod

I went into the room where my grandparents and mother were. There were two paedophile friends in the room with them. There were 5 grownups in that room – my grandparents, mother and two paedophile friends of the family. None of those 5 grownups saw anything being wrong. Instead the impression was what was happening was ‘normal’, nothing was wrong, except for me, everything about me was “wrong” or so I was told often enough. So if I was surrounded by grownups who all thought nothing was wrong then I must be wrong to think it’s wrong.

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