Positional Power ~ When Your Therapist Doesn’t Get It

Facebook91k
Facebook
Twitter4.6k
Youtube149
Youtube
LinkedIn26
LINKEDIN

The Path for EFBChild abuse and neglect result in low self-esteem, depression and a whole lot of other issues. Part of the grooming process that occurs in ALL abuse including emotional abuse and psychological abuse is that the blame is transferred to the child and in order to cope and survive children accept that blame and focus inward in order to try harder for the love and acceptance they long for. In the dysfunctional family, the abuse doesn’t end in childhood and often the child who is now an adult will seek professional help in order to overcome the damage that the child abuse caused. Just as our parents and all adult abusers, controllers and manipulators had positional power, doctors, therapists and helping professionals have it too.

When we have been convinced through actions, inactions and words that there is something ‘wrong’ with us and we finally go to a helping professional such as a therapist, counselor or psychologist ~ if that mental health professional defends our parents, or focuses on US as the problem it serves us as confirmation that we are in fact the problem and it is very much a re-traumatization.

Mental health professionals have tons of positional power ~ they are endorsed and accredited as being able to help and therefore we often see them as an even bigger authority then the way that we saw our parents when we were kids, so if they AGREE with our parents or if they focus with us on what WE could do or could have done differently, it very often causes a bigger problem than the one we went to talk about.

Just as abuse and neglect invalidated me as a child, a therapist who asks me what I could have done better or differently, or asks me to understand the abuser by suggesting that they did the best they could or suggests that I was part of the problem ~ those things all VALIDATE the abuser, controller or caregiver or whoever had the power in the situation I am talking about. Sometimes worse was when the therapist remained neutral. In all cases I was still stuck in the pain of the story. When a therapist or helping professional has any of those reactions they aren’t HELPING.

Years ago when I was in my twenties, I volunteered to be in a group therapy situation. We all sat around looking for the ways that we were accountable for what happened to us as kids and thinking about what we could have done differently. There were some serious situations being discussed; one girl admitted that when she was 17 years old she snuck out of the house after bedtime to go to a party where she had been raped. Her parents found out that she was out, and then she got a severe beating from her father who used his belt to thrash her for over a half an hour. She told us that she thought he was literally going to kill her. Then she told us that she realized that she had brought the whole thing on herself by sneaking out of the house. She admitted that she was selfish and ungrateful for the boundaries her parents set in place for her and that she deserved what had happened to her.

She was willing to be accountable for having been raped and for also for the beating. And the therapist just sat there. I remember looking at him to see what our ‘leader’ was going to say about this. I was so brainwashed in that kind of accountability myself that I don’t think I questioned if she was accountable or not but I know that I didn’t have “my own thoughts” about what happened to her. I looked to the therapist and relied on his authority, waiting for his opinion.

Here is the shocking truth about this though; two things happened to that girl that night and both were horrific and illegal but the only thing that was addressed was that her own actions resulted in what happened to her. She was blamed, she was shamed, she accepted the guilt and responsibility for all of it.

She went home from the party where she had been raped; maybe she didn’t have a chance to tell her parents what happened, or maybe she knew she could never tell them what happened, that part was never discussed or revealed, but she went home and got a severe beating with a belt. She got raped and beaten and then (because she was blamed and shown why it was her own fault) she blamed the whole thing on herself.

So where was she supposed to go from there? How does someone reconcile something like that? How does a teenager get her head around something like that?

Think about it; She was raped. She was sexually assaulted; brutally raped by a man who had no regard for her as a person. He disregarded her human rights and then he cast aside like the object that he used her for. Imagine her devastation. And then she went home to what should have been a safe haven. She should have been allowed to fall sobbing into the arms of her mother and blurt the whole story out. And then her father, after a bit of ranting and raving and threatening to KILL the bastard who violated his daughter, would have phoned the police and reported the entire thing. She should have been taken to the hospital where they would have checked for damage and taken some DNA samples so that the perpetrator of this crime would have been convicted of it. Then her parents would have taken her home, made her some tea and stayed with her for as long as she needed.

But that isn’t what happened.

She came in the door and without pausing for any explanation from her, her father took off his leather belt and began his brutal and unrelenting physical assault on her. The second crime of the night was perpetrated against her. How do you think she felt after all that? Worthless? Shameful?

Yes.

And there she was many years later, trying to get some help and willing to take the blame for the whole thing; willing to accept responsibility for both the crimes against her. And the helping professional in the room said NOTHING! He nodded his approval when she said that her bad choices had resulted in her having been rapped and then beaten by her father. He nodded as she related that if only she would not have snuck out to that party, none of it would have happened.

BUT it did happen! So how was she able to deal with having been raped that night? Well quite simply, she wasn’t able to deal with it in any way that enabled her to heal from the damage that it caused to her.

Nobody EVER validated for her that it wasn’t her fault and believing it WAS her own fault, she could not let go of the guilt and shame and she was stuck in the invalidation of it all.

Mental Health Professionals have a lot of positional power. I gave many of them my power because I didn’t know any different. I believed that because they were certified and licensed to help me, that they knew best and that they certainly knew better than I did. I believed that they WERE helping me and when they encouraged me to take blame that didn’t belong to me, I was stuck in the pain of being objectified, unheard, unseen and invalidated, believing that once again something was wrong with me because I STILL struggled with depression, sadness and low self-esteem.

That day in the group therapy, that therapist could have set the record straight for the young woman who had been raped at a party and then beaten by her father. He could have told her that first of all, rape is always the fault of the rapist. Rape is an illegal crime and is always the fault of the perpetrator of that crime. And then he could have also told her that the violent beating she received was also a crime that the responsibility for that crime also belonged to the perpetrator of that crime. And each of us sitting there in that circle would have walked away with a totally different experience of the way that we thought about our own life experiences.

I didn’t tell my real story that day; I guess I knew it wasn’t safe.

Positional power applies to anyone that we give authority to or a person who is respected AS an authority for their title or training. Please share your thoughts about positional power or any other thoughts you would like to share. Perhaps this story reminds you of a different situation where you were invalidated by someone with positional power such as a teacher, grandparent or a police officer.

Exposing Truth, one snapshot at a time;

Darlene Ouimet

Have you downloaded a copy of my book “Emerging from Broken; The Beginning of Hope for Emotional Healing” yet? It is the first in a series I am going to publish and this first book is all about setting the foundation for healing by seeing HOW the false beliefs, depressions, low self-esteem etc. came from in the first place. The reviews are fantastic! Click on the book image in the upper right side bar and get yours today.

Related posts ~ Dysfunctional Relationship with Mental Health Providers by Susan Kingsley-Smith

218 response to "Positional Power ~ When Your Therapist Doesn’t Get It"

  1. By: Melinda Posted: 30th October 2017

    I was re-traumatized by a therapist back in 2010 or 2011 after only six sessions.
    At the time, I was in my late twenties and struggling to overcome a lot of damage caused by my past.
    This therapist specialized in CBT (which I didn’t know) and it was not a therapy I was familiar with.
    At my very first session, I was traumatized…alarm bells were just going off because of her attitude and the things she was saying. My husband urged me to give her another chance, though, and I did.

    This was an older woman in her seventies/eighties and although I’m reluctant to diagnose others with NPD, it’s just obvious sometimes when dealing with certain people.
    She looked very good for her age, wore expensive suits and had long red manicured nails.
    When we started the session, I started telling her about my depression and how I felt that much of it was related to the abuse and bullying I’d suffered growing up, and how I was trying to overcome it all.

    She had a very disdainful attitude and said: “I’m not interested in your stories. Who cares?”
    I was stunned. This person was supposed to be helping me and THAT was her response?
    Anyway, whenever I would see her in sessions after that, she continued to be extremely disrespectful and to invalidate me.
    At one point she got angry and said that she was tired of my “crap” and that she would refer me to another doctor because (according to her) I was only playing the victim and not trying to help myself.

    I almost started crying in her office when she would treat me this way. I was so hurt and angry because it reminded me of all the times when people have judged, attacked, blamed and shamed me.
    Her behavior can only be described as abusive. This woman should NOT have been allowed to practice any kind of therapy at all since she lacked the ability to listen and show empathy.
    As far as I know, she is still alive and still practicing in another town.
    I’ve tried to explain to my husband that this is part of why I am reluctant to try therapy again.
    I don’t want to open myself up to more pain from manipulative, vicious people who have no interest in helping me (and could benefit from some therapy themselves!)

    She reminded me of certain people I’ve known who have attacked me verbally and then sat back smiling as the tears rolled down my face, pleased that they were able to hurt me.
    It’s all about power with people like that…they spot vulnerability like a shark smells blood, and they pounce.
    Kind of like the evil clown Pennywise in Stephen King’s “IT”. Certain people will make you think that you can trust them and that they are safe to talk to, and then out of nowhere they hit you with mental/verbal/emotional attacks while you’re down.

    One of the key parts in trying to heal is identifying predators and being very careful about opening up to the wrong people.
    I’ve learned to be more cautious about what I share and whom I share it with because sadly, there are a LOT of people in this world who are harmful and who will use their power to hurt others.

  2. By: Melinda Posted: 30th October 2017

    @Alice, re: post #134…you asked a very good question about how to respond when people attack you for speaking the truth about your experiences.

    As somebody who has been invalidated for speaking my truth many times in life, I can tell you that I’ve learned two ways of dealing with this. First, I firmly shut the person down when they attempt to invalidate/deny/dismiss what I’ve said. My other method is to not engage at all. By not playing their game, by not arguing with them, which is really the reaction they want from us.
    I find it better to remain cool and calm because if I show them that their behavior is hurting me, that is making them feel more powerful. So I’ve learned to recognize the game for what it is and I refuse to play it anymore.

    I’ve also learned to trust my instincts about certain people, re: who is “safe” to talk to.
    I guess for all of us who have experienced any type of abuse and want to avoid further trauma or victimization, we just have to trust our own inner guide.
    If something feels wrong in our interaction with another person, maybe that is a way to let us know that we need to protect ourselves from harmful people.
    I can only speak for myself and my personal experiences, nobody else…but I can say that this is what I’ve learned.
    If I’m talking to somebody and I get bad “vibes” or they treat me in a way that seems intentionally hurtful, unkind, or dismissive, I no longer interact with that person or I limit contact with them (in cases where I can’t completely cut them off).

  3. By: Kristina Posted: 2nd February 2017

    I had been invalidated in the therapy (sarcastic remarks,anger, making fun of my situation..)… he pushed to go on no contact with my mother on the 2nd session. I was often so anxious going there, but I thought “it was the therapy, I need it”. It took me a long time to get out of there. With helps of this side. I guess the therapist just repeated my complex traumatic domestic violance.

    I search about the good, healing therapy since that time -esp. for the people with complex PTSD. I believe there are good therapist, only I had not met them yet (I live outside of USA and western countries). It is such a pain to be invalidated from professionals.

    LaVerne,
    not sure. I would need personally to feel safe in every aspect of the therapy. Currently, I found someone who seems diligently to help, but I guess he is not familiar with PTSD (even though I said I am searching for it, but…I did not ask explicitely). I feel helped to some extends, but then I am being pushed into something that I ended in dissociation, fear…..it is usually change of the topic, not letting me process my emotions, going with what I want to -what my body wants to process, interrupting me (the hurry). Maybe I can work with the therapist through that (tell him about what bothers me), but actually – I´d wish a different relationship.
    The therapist who invalidated me supported my father and general men in my life (who abused me to), perhaps in order to get somebody I can attach to. It felt unsafe to me. It proved. I lost several years of finding a better support, trying to put my abusers on a pedestal (and it felt bad).
    The new therapist told me, maybe also too straight away or soon, but he did validated me, that yes, I had been also abused by men…
    If your sister hurts you, it would be great to be validated in your truth.
    Reading your comment, I feel that when one has to decide himself what it is safe (nobody can tell me what I have to feel)….
    but to me personally, it is soo difficult, as I lived through the terrible abuse at home, thus being unsafe and in a kind of life-threat is “normal” to me.

  4. By: LaVerne Posted: 5th December 2016

    Wow, there are so many comments on here I couldn’t read them all! I don’t know if anyone will read this.

    2 questions:
    My therapist always validates what happened with my parents and other people, but if my sister (two years younger than me) did anything physically or emotionally harmful to me she will say that is because we had the same parents, and so I’m invalidated by the harm done by my sister. Does it not count if it’s your sister? “She was just acting that way because she was trying to get attention from your parents.” My therapist encourages me to have less contact w my parents, but said it was safe for me to build a relationship with my sister.
    My second question: Is asking the patient what they could have done differently supposed to be a line of questioning in EMDR therapy? Is it a question they ask you to help you realize you couldn’t have done anything differently, like tricking you in to realizing that? I’m not sure I get this therapy. Maybe I didn’t go long enough before my insurance changed and I had to quit. It just seemed like: say over and over again the horrible thing that happened to you.

  5. By: maja Posted: 30th August 2016

    i ve seen this happen too when in group therapy –

    and it was hurtful – at one point a girl was validated for being great and taking responsibilit when in fact she stated often she was barely holding on and that it was all too much, they kept telling her she was doin fine – as soon as she lived independent again she wanted to come back after a month as she was drowning and again she was told she was doin fine –

    no one validated her experience of he life situation – they applauded her contact withher family even tho she had stated abusive situations and a dynamic that had not healed, they applauded her whenever she did things she could barely manage and they only mentioend a few tings about her dressing style –

    as for one s own responsibility – when i wanted to talk about my mother as well they said what is your part in the relationship for making it go wrong – and they kept pushing me to admit i did some thing wrong til i went back to her and lether buy me a cake for my birthday – which wa sapplauded caues you have to be in touch with your mother – she was kind that day and i was applauded they all said i had changed for the better, but one girl stated – i don t think she did do anything different, from the sound of it her mother just behaved nice for once but this was lost to the professionals –

    it s weird to see that help is not Always safe evn and can end up abusive as well – hwoever when i tried to talk about this people said i was arrogant, i had to know everything better didn t i, everyone tried to help me and if i kenw it all then why was i this ill and not improving even –

    so i kept giving my power away and kept getting worse as well –

    at one poit it seems you start forgetting yourself, and you start to believe what they tell you – but when you still do not improve even tho they keep on pushing you back in your family s arms and keep on pushng you to ignore every physical symptom your body is shouting out –

    they stated i was a lost cause and would never heal so it was best to just try it all on myown as i was beyond help

    it took time to see i was beyond what they could offer – that the problems stated were due to the ward rather then to me and due to their limited perception – and that indeed i do know what i need even tho the result, a healthy body mind set , is not present- then again how could it be present after aal these years – how can i not bu tbe in needo f true healing

    it did feel lonely btw – it for sure did – especially when the psychiatriast told me to stop talkig – after all these years of being told talking was the cure i was told to stop talkin and to just accept that i was in too deep that i had lived through too much and that i was beyond help

    i don t believe i am btw, but as said, it does get lonely

    thx for writing, too often i ve heard when i was online and mentioned i felt rough, to get therapy, when i felt like screaming that they often dismissed me or send me home or o ro ro or……..
    it s refreshing to see someone write about how things can get wonky as well and how it s not a one way ticket to bliss in three sessions –

    thx for sharing

  6. By: Sonja Posted: 16th March 2016

    I come from a severely dysfunctional family, among whom several are mental health professionals, and I can tell you first hand that many of them enter this profession because they are power hungry, and/or want to distract themselves from their own pain and shortcomings by immersing themselves in others problems and/or think they know what’s best for everyone..not because they are truly interested in helping and healing. Use discernment when choosing a therapist or you may just end up coming out in worse shape then when you went in.

  7. By: Troy Posted: 22nd January 2016

    That’s disgusting. Such medical professionals should be reported and either be banned from practice or have to go through a coarse teaching them proper conduct and empathy. Anyone who doesn’t have the basic level of common sense to recognize that the blame always falls on the perpetrator of a crime, should never be in a position of counselling others.

  8. By: Hobie Posted: 21st June 2015

    Hi Kimberle,

    I was surprised by your comment as well. I’ve been reading and posting here for well over a year and I know very well that Darlene is not in the habit of making blanket generalizations about anything. I also know that her own healing is the basis for everything that she offers.

    I’m really sad that you’ve interpreted what you read in a way that led you to comment as you did.

    Hobie

  9. By: Kimberle Posted: 21st June 2015

    Darlene;

    I just found your site via face book, as a certified Trauma Recovery & Wellness Coach; Specialized Key Note Speaker & the CA state advocate for several organizations who focus on issues of sexual abuse, domestic violence, mental illness and suicide attempt & loss.

    After reading several of your writings, and responses I must say frankly I am a bit stunned. As Coaches we first must heal ourselves from our own trauma past, then and only then are we able to detach meaning not allow our personal experiences, opinions, or judgement’s from influencing our work.

    To state that all mental health professionals are engaging in “Positional Power” is both a generalization which is based on your experience that does not make your statement true.

    I have worked along side several highly gifted mental health professionals some well known some local to my city, are there some who do exist as your writing states? Of course just as there “poorly trained” coaches, and poorly trained individuals in all fields. To be that general blanketing a certain industry soley based on your experience reflects to me as a coach myself of there is inner work in need of facing inside of you.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 21st June 2015

      Hi Kimberle
      I am a bit stunned myself here by your comment. I have never said that ALL mental health professionals are engaging in positional power. I stated that healing professionals HAVE positional power. I have nothing but respect for healing professionals but this article is about the one who are un-helpful and actually cause more harm. I work with therapists and I have been hired to help psychologists. There is no ‘general blanketing’ as you suggest here. I don’t think you have read very much of my work at all. I sincerely hope that you will reconsider your judgement of me and what I am doing here. You have totally misunderstood my message and my passion for helping others.
      Darlene

  10. By: Moira Posted: 29th April 2015

    I went to see an NHS psychologist today. I came out nearly crying. It was my 8th session. She said I wasn’t engaging and she was trying to trick me to prove this. She hasn’t been clear with her instructions. She obviously doesn’t want to see me for another 8 sessions. When I said I had improved in some things she accused me of not telling the truth to continue getting treatment. I said I’m not the kind of person to lie. She says everyone does sometimes.my son is scared of me dying since bereavement so she said Had I arranged to see an NHS mental health about it. I said it was my business and I’d arranged something but not on NHS. She said its nothing personal. I neither like you or dislike you. I don’t have any feelings towards you. Then tried to play mind games is I don’t like rejection to cover for her behaviour.

  11. By: larae Posted: 31st March 2015

    I left counseling feeling very invalidated when it came to the abuse i experienced. I was told that my mother was out of her mind from drugs and shock treatments so none of the abuse i experienced was intentional. I was told about another clients childhood and told that his was much worse than mine as if that would help me. Then i was told that the abusive relationship i was in at age 20 was my fault because i didnt put in place healthy boundries.I had no idea what healthy boundries were. your blog helped me see that despite my abusers state of mind on drugs or shock treatments it was still abuse and doesnt excuse it. I also see that just because another victim was seen as being more abused than me in my counselors opinion doesn’t mean my abuse wasnt valid as well. Abuse is abuse and this site has helped me heal from it by validating it For myself. Finally i understand now that i wasnt to blame for my abusive relationship, even though i was over 18, because i had no idea what healthy boundaries were. I was never shown or taught what healthy boundries were or that i even had a right to have them. all i knew was how to let others violate them. Thank you Darlene for this article and your other articles. I walked out of counseling feeling defeated and invalidated. It seemed i was the one with the problem and just needed to get over it. Your site has helped me to heal and overcome abuse. Also to see that not all counselors offer truth. Thank you!

  12. By: Therese Posted: 15th January 2015

    Hello all,
    I am a social worker and adult therapist. My passion is to work with those who have experienced trauma which continues to impact them today. I appreciate the responsibility this entails and all of your words here remind me of this responsibility. I pray that my clients’ trust is well-placed and that I can help improve their quality of life through our therapeutic relationship. God bless you all and may we all find the words and thoughts that heal our wounds.

  13. By: Cindy Posted: 4th January 2015

    I wanted to say “thank you” to the members of this blog. I am a therapist and found the abuse and invalidation suffered at the hands of other therapist appalling. Blaming a child for being born into a family with dysfunctional and mean people (i.e. excusing abuse) is ridiculous! It’s like a seed being asked to grow without proper water and soil and then when the seed does miraculously manage to grow, it’s blamed for not doing it right and is used as a reason to harm the sprout. I had chills up my spine reading some of the comments. I was angry and embarrassed regarding my profession and will double and triple-check myself to make sure I am doing the absolute best I can supporting my clients in their journeys (the people I have been given an amazing honor of letting me into their lives.) Again, I am so sorry for the pain and mistrust people have suffered – I am also glad this blog exists.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 5th January 2015

      Hi Cindy
      Welcome to EFB ~ I have been to some really bad therapists and one great one. I am not saying they are all bad. I am glad that you are not
      one of the ‘bad ones’.
      hugs, Darlene

  14. By: Alex Posted: 1st January 2015

    Darlene,
    Yet another brilliant post. You are absolutely right that when someone opens up and shares their story of how they were harmed, too often the response is “But what did you do?”. That question is so insensitive and just re-traumatizes the victim. This year one of my resolutions is to stop trying to defend myself and stop giving other people power to affirm or deny my truth.

    Light to you!

    Alex
    Theupcasts.com

  15. By: Yvonne Posted: 26th December 2014

    Hi Laura and Andria,

    I am trying not to worry about the future. It’s unfair that I have worked so hard to better myself and my parents are still after me. I really don’t know what will happen next year. If my dad dies first, there is NO WAY that my mom will move into my house. I have a 3 bedroom house and I could easily rent out a bedroom—(find an emergency roommate on Craig’s List)—and I’ll keep the second bedroom as my home office. My parents are not that destitute and if they can’t afford to buy a small home, then they can always rent. I am worried about my mom perhaps snooping around my place. I am not sure if I gave my parents a key to my house a long time ago–long story–but I could change the lock. I use my garage door opener to go out and keep another dead bolt lock on my front door. Also, I am not too open or friendly with my neighbors so they know nothing about me or my dysfunctional family problems.

    Once when I was renting a former apartment they got an extra apartment key—somehow they lied to the apt.manager who gave them an extra key–and my mom was snooping into my bookcase and papers. I also keep my real religion (Celtic Pagan) quiet from my parents since they’re both so emotionally immature. It’s hard when you’re always walking on eggshells around them. Most normal people do not get any of this at all. I am concerned that if I were to meet a good man relationship, then my mom would wonder why is there another car at my home on weekends? I know that it’s my life, but she has the power to make my life a living hell.

    Like my friend once said to me, “the old people are afraid of dying and then they’re afraid that they won’t die!” My parents have become meaner and nastier in their old age than ten or twenty years ago. I didn’t think that it was possible for them to become any nastier but they have. I have another co-worker friend who suggested that they buy a condo in an assisted adult living community. They would have others their own age and help with shopping trips.

    I had another friend who told me the story of her elderly, abusive Narc mom. Her elderly mom ended up living in a nursing care home in Florida. My friend at the time was working as a substitute teacher and divorced while renting an apartment and did not have a lot of money. These nursing care workers actually called my friend a few times on the phone complaining about this woman. My friend would cry out, “Please take my mom since I’m a substitute school teacher and I have no money. You have to take my mom and I beg of you…” Apparently her mom wanted to terrorize all of the health care workers before she passed away. It was like her final battle to terrorize them as an evil, elderly woman. My friend told me that she was relieved and glad when her mom finally passed away. She just couldn’t take one more day of it! I totally understand.

    I do have a rather tight budget so if my mom were to live for many more years then she may have to use social services. I don’t know if these nursing care homes are covered by medicaid, etc.? but I am not paying the bill! I can show them my income tax statements that I really can’t afford it. I know that they will not last too much longer and I’m glad.

    Another option that I have is if I could meet a good man relationship and just move in with him in the future so we could be living together—hopefully the other side of town! Then I could rent my house temporarily until my parents are both gone. I don’t know. I would feel much safer with both a dog and a roommate in my house than entirely living alone.

    What I don’t understand is what do they want from me? We’re not close and I spent Christmas in my house alone. I know that their neighbors ask about the adult daughter but I couldn’t care less. Do they want me to be their driver for shopping and appointments? Do they want me to entertain them? Do they just want to be nasty and dump all their anger on me? Whenever my mom occasionally calls me on the phone, it’s all about verbal abuse over my weight issues and not having an especially high paid job.

    My parents are starting to outlive many of their friends and family members. My mom just lost a brother and sister who are like ten years younger than her. They have lost friends from their former state who are like five years younger than them. My grandparents, father’s parents, died in their 70’s and now my father is ten years older than his parents in his 80’s! My father has always had a rather difficult and whiny attitude towards death since he is an Atheist. I have a religion and I’m not a Christian. His parents, my grandparents, were not that angry and fearful towards death. I never heard them complain that there were both old without much time left. I don’t know how my grandparents could raise a son like my father, so oddball, cold, grouchy, nasty, and supports his abusive wife but never me! Both of my parents have no hobbies, religion, or social activities—the opposite of me. My father was retired for a very long time, like 25 years, and he only watched the TV set all day long. My Narc mom only cared about entertaining the neighbors by having formal dinner parties. I am just so tired of it all and I have had the patience of a saint for too many years. How much more of it do I have to take before it’s all over? I never dreamed that at my age I would have to be “abused” for the second time and live in fear!

    Thanks everyone for reading and sharing! Blessed Be!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.