My Grandfather the Scary Drunken Pedophile

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child sexual abuseWhen I was a fairly young child, my mother told me that my grandfather (her mother’s husband) had been caught molesting my cousin. They told me that I should be careful of him. They told me that he had been caught with is hand up her little dress. And HE SAID that it was HER FAULT because she was sitting with her legs open.

That story makes me sick, as it should, but can you imagine how confusing that story would be for me as little girl? How was I supposed to process that information?

Especially when my parents didn’t stop taking me there.

I remember feeling uncomfortable hearing about it.  I remember the way my mother told me, like it was something really important that I needed to know. I knew that it was serious but I remember being unsure of what I was supposed to DO with that information.  I had the feeling that I should be scared of him but I still had to go to my grandparent’s home, be polite, do as I was told and all that other stuff. It was very confusing.  We are taught not to question such things.

I remember as a little girl as young as 4 or 5, sitting right beside him on the couch, snuggled right up to him in the crook of his arm, close enough to smell the booze on his breath and my mother sitting across the room watching like a Hawke. And I remember feeling GUILTY and not knowing why. I remember feeling scared of getting a spanking for sitting beside him but when he coaxed me over to him, I had no idea how the heck to avoid going to sit beside him. I had been taught that I had to respect and obey my elders. And although I had been told to stay away from him, no one rescued me, no one gave me a way to avoid him! My parents knew he was a drunk and a predator. They knew he had been caught and they believed he did it. Didn’t they think to stop taking me to visit there? Well obviously not.

They didn’t want to “rock the boat.” They didn’t want to “make waves” and stand up for what was RIGHT, not to mention that my Mother was afraid of the wrath of HER mother! I’m certain that they didn’t want to “hurt anyone’s feelings” by saying that it was not safe for their little girl to be in the presence of a pedophile. (I bet they never called him a pedophile; that would be much too accusatory and they couldn’t judge now could they, although I remember my mother calling him a “creepy dirty old man” many times throughout my life.)

So they protected someone else’s feelings, but they were not protecting me. This makes a statement even to a young kid. Their actions defined me as less valuable then my grandmother AND less valuable then my drunken creepy step grandfather the pedophile predator, too. My feelings (which were mostly confusion)  were never even addressed. This is a good illustration of generational dysfunctional mother daughter relationship!

The truth is that they could have found a way to value both ME and my Grandmother. My mother could have visited her mother without children in tow. She could have told her mother that she wasn’t going to allow my step grandfather (who was a drunk and had been caught child molesting) to have ANY access to her children.  She could have taken a stand against him for the sake of her children.  But she didn’t.

Even more confusing to me is that my mother hated her step father. She hated him, she told me about how afraid of him she always was, about his drunken temper; she hated and feared him but not enough to protect me from him in any other way except by watching me and warning me (and placing responsibility on ME to protect myself ).

As I got older my mother continued to tell me this story about my creepy grandfather, the dirty old man and the sexual trauma that my cousin suffered. He molested her! He sexually assaulted her!  I wonder how my cousin felt about all this? He made an excuse for himself and that was it? That was the end of it? Did they just accept his exuse? Did they just let it go? Nobody took any action??

My mother (thinks that she) justified taking me there by telling me that her and my father made a decision that one of them would keep their eye on me at all times when I was at my grandmothers and step grandfathers house.  This was told to me as though I should think her very smart and caring. Perhaps I was expected to be grateful?  She was really proud of herself for making that decision to keep their eyes on me when I was with my grandfather the Pedophile. She warned me and it seemed as though she assured me that she had it under control. But I didn’t feel assured. And I didn’t feel safe.

Why does her declaration of “watching me” make it alright? Didn’t they realize that he had started the child molesting “grooming process” right in front of them anyway?  He was gaining my trust. I was his favourite. I thought he was nice to me. (He was a child molester; a sexual predator, a sex offender!) He gave me salted peanuts and if my parents said no more peanuts, he would sneak them to me with a big wink.  (I guess they weren’t watching that closely after all and the fact that he could sneak me peanuts, communicated to me that he was not being watched and that he was not going to abide by my parents wishes either.)

But I liked the peanuts. We only had them at Christmas time at home. I always got to sit right beside him and I wanted the extra attention. Why did they allow that?  Why did they think that I was safe with that child molester because they were watching?

Did they think that since he has been caught once that he would never do that again? Did my mother think that her watchful eye was all that was necessary? I will never understand what she thought when I know now that he was just waiting for them to make one mistake; to leave me unattended just once, so that he could proceed.

When I was “in the fog” which means when I was not understanding exactly why some of the details about these situations were wrong, but having this “feeling” or suspicion that they were wrong, I could never put all these “facts” together and therefore I was never able to see the real truth.  It was in seeing this truth that I found my freedom from depressions, low self esteem and other struggles and was able to Emerge from Broken and take my life back.

Please share your thoughts. I look forward to hearing from you.

Exposing Truth; one snapshot at a time

Darlene Ouimet

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119 response to "My Grandfather the Scary Drunken Pedophile"

  1. By: Alanna Posted: 11th July 2013

    Hi everyone, I read your sad stories and I want to cry for all of you. I to, along with my five sisters walked into a pedophile ring headed by my grandfather. We had just migrated from England and as we had no where to live, so we had to live on the block in a bungalow. My grandparents lived in the house, my aunt lived in the converted garage.

    We were five, six, I was seven, my older sisters were nine, ten and twelve. We were also told not to back chat, respect your elders etc.
    I particularly remember my grand father as he was the worse offender. He would make us touch him whilst pretending to sit with us watching TV in the dark. No one ever come in to check on us, we would huddle on the floor in a circle and try to ignore him telling us to sit next to him on the couch. He was a hard working pillar of the community according to everyone so nobody suspected a thing.

    He raped my ten year old sister, I escaped being raped as a cousin walked in and I ran screaming. My twelve year old sister was molested by his son, our uncle, she ended up pregnant and they made her marry the bastard. The other uncle in the garage would watch us as we played in the yard and would call you over to the open window where he’d sit exposed.
    I would try to avoid them but it was exhaustive. Dad and mum had seperated and mum spent a lot of time with her mother shopping etc, so we were unsupervised and at the mercy of this pedophile ring. I to this day wonder how no one suspected anything.

    My dear ten year old sister died at 57 yrs old from cancer and my five yr old sister died at eighteen from an unknown cause.

    I found out from my niece today that my older sister was also raped by my two older brothers, the eldest brother lived with my grandparents and was probably groomed by my grandfather, he apparently threatened to beat my younger brother if he didn’t do it, who I believe in later years was very remorseful for what he did.

    My mothers family were pure evil and our lives were a horror tale, the effects of which still haunt each of us to this day. I told my mother and at first attempt she wouldn’t hear of it, I finally sat her down years later and made her listen. She cried and said she was so sorry and that her father had put his hands up her dress as a girl growing up, and that he’d been raped by farmers as an orphan in Ireland. I can’t forgive him for what he did, I doubt I ever will, he should have been protective of his own instead we paid for what other pedophiles did to him.

    Pedophilea is the most disgusting crime one can commit, I would have preferred to have been murdered, at least the pain ends their.

    Love and hugs to all.

    • By: Shirley Bates Posted: 31st May 2017

      My mother’s father was also a pedophile. She had her first child by him before she was 17. I was never left unattended at our other family functions (we can’t tell them that they can’t have him in their home. It never occurred to me we didn’t have to attend). However my parents were unaware I was being molested by a paternal cousin from 7-13 years old.

  2. By: sue Posted: 31st May 2013

    shame on your mother for doing this to you, darlene. i would not be able to eat peanuts ever again! i am glad you are free of this in your life now.

  3. By: Lora Posted: 30th May 2013

    Hi Darlene! sometimes when I read your articles I am relieved to know I am not alone and saddened that there are so many of us that experienced such cruelty.

    These articles trigger things I thought I dealt with until I feel something inside that makes me feel so disturbed. I didn’t realize how confused I was as a child always trying to process the strange things that went on in our family. I always seem to be a witness to things I wish I could forgot. I still find myself peeling back memories of used I was as a child. I was used by adults to hurt other people because I was so afraid of what would happen to me if I didn’t. I was used directly and indirectly but the bottom line is I always felt powerless. I come from a very sick family who thought children had no value, adults seemed to earn there power through having children of their own so they could start the cycle all over again.

    The most loving thing I have ever done is to not have children. I was terrified to have children because I learned to be afraid of myself and what I might do if I did have children. I honestly thought I was a monster and didn’t deserve to have a family of my own.

    I know understand why I have held my back from socializing with people and getting involved in groups. I felt so inadequate and thought I had nothing to offer except for all my sick secrets and who wants to hear about that. I still find myself sharing things about the past and and then feel uncomfortable afterwards. I’ve hit such a layer of vulnerability in my healing work that I feel raw.

    I do find myself asking God why I was born and why I endured what I have because I need to find meaning in my life. I need to believe that God does love me and that there is a purpose for me being here. Even though I have come so far, the damage I feel inside still intimidates me into believing I will never be whole and healthy enough to serve God in a meaningful way. I know I am in all the right supports and this article reminds me that I still have a ways to go in my healing.

    I used to feel guilty for cutting my family away from my life and now I am asking myself why I didn’t do it sooner. I guess I just didn’t have the courage to go deep enough to face the truth. I am grateful that I have the courage today and I just have to keep hoping that one day I will feel a solid sense of peace and wholeness within myself. I have moments, but I still struggle to hold it on a regular basis.

    I’m just so grateful that more people are talking about this and sharing because it’s through sharing that the shame, fear and guilt no longer have such a strong hold on me. Thank you so much for all your inspirational work and congrats on all your success with books and interviews. Namaste!

  4. By: January Posted: 30th May 2013

    Wow Darlene, how nice of your parents to put you in harms way so as not to rock the boat. I was also treated the same way.

    Although I was older, between 9 & 12 & my molester was a “friend” of my parents. It seems like they were all in on it. The friend’s wife who would direct dad to put me in harms way, or would distract my parents so her husband had his chance to use me for his sexual pleasure, or when he asked permission to take me off alone & dad granted it. He & his wife also groomed me, using horses, live or in books,or models. They all knew I was horse crazy. At home, my parents often discussed him within earshot of me. I suppose they did that to set me up & make me the responsible party without actually coming right out & telling me that I should stay away from him. How exactly was that even possible since they all conspired to put me in harms’ way? I don’t get it. Unless all of them got some perverse pleasure out of the circumstances…I suppose that it’s possible.

    What a bunch of sick sick people. 🙁 I never had a chance.

    Thanks for the new perspective on the subject. I realize that this is an old thread. First time I have run across it.

    January

  5. By: Silent One Posted: 14th November 2012

    The way your grandfather justified why he was “allowed” to molest your cousin is exactly the way my grandfather justified hurting me. I wasn’t allowed to leave my legs open, do my hair, do my makeup, speak well (big words or complex speach = seductive/womanly), dress well, or other wise stand out and look nice. I wasn’t even allowed to leave the group and sit on my own in another room of the house. If I did any of these things, I was saying that I wanted to attract men, namely him. I had to be invisible to stay safe which was hard because he lived with us.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 14th November 2012

      Hi Silent One
      Welcome to EFB
      That is CRAZY! Putting that kind of responsibility on a kid (or on any person for that matter) is so crazy. Who the hell was HE? What was HIS responsibility. Thank you for sharing. You are not alone and I am glad you are here.
      Hugs, Darlene

  6. By: Kathleen Posted: 27th October 2012

    Please help me someone they are threatening me with charges I did nothing wrong I need help He molested my granddaughters and now they are threatening me I can’t think I don’t know what to do I can’t cope I want it to end what should I do

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 28th October 2012

      Hi Kathleen
      You need to get some assistance from someone (like a lawyer) who is an expert in this area. People threaten people when they don’t want them to take action but try to remember who is in the wrong in the first place. My mother threatened to sue me if I wrote anything publically that she didn’t like, but the thing is that if none of this stuff happened to me I would not have anything to write about. I am not the one who is in the wrong here.
      Hugs, Darlene

      • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 28th October 2012

        P.S. Kathleen
        You may want to start with calling the police.
        Hugs, Darlene

  7. By: Kathleen Posted: 25th October 2012

    In New York state you have to report the abuse b4 you are 23. Her son who admitted he was abused was 23 in May and we found all this out the following February. I was really doing good with all this but we go to the Grand jury on Monday and now I am a mess again. I have such mixed emotions. I did love this man who I now hate and that really messes with your mind. He treated me good. I cared for him. I can’t stop crying. I don’t know how I will be able to speak at the grand jury and it isn’t because I am bashful of shy I have spoken in front of 100 people and enjoyed it. But I can’t stop crying. How will I be able to speak. You would think that by now I would be OK but the closer it comes to the grand jury the worse I am. I don’t think this will go to trial. He admitted it to the town investigator and cps and me also a grandson and that boys father. He has mental problems but by no definition is he insane. I do wonder if he will try to kill himself. I am sure if he goes to jail the men there will make his life hell. For what he has put us through I shouldn’t care but I do. As I said my emotions are a mess. Thanks for listening and understanding. I will get back to you and let you know what happens.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 25th October 2012

      Hi Kathleen
      This is heartbreaking. I am so sorry for the turmoil you are in but hang in there and just try to breathe!
      Hugs and love, thank you for keeping us posted.
      You are not alone and please feel free to share on earlier posts where there is a bit more support from this community. (via the home button) Feel free to write what is going on on any of the current posts there.
      Hugs, Darlene

  8. By: Kathleen Posted: 21st October 2012

    I was married to a 85 year old man for 16 years when I found out he was a pedophile. He molested his children, his grandchildren and my grandchildren. His daughter tried to warn me but I didn’t believe her. He molested her but she sent her three youngest children to be with us every weekend for 5 years, so how could I believe her. I thought she was trying to make trouble between my self and my husband after I told her we were not sending her any more money . I so regret not believing her. Most of the people in his family knew what he was but only the crazy one who sacrificed her children for money said anything. Then last February she made allegations and gave names. They finally admitted the truth. But it was too late, he had also by then molested my granddaughters. My reason for posting is this. A mother will sacrifice her children for money. Family will protect the predator. If you hear anything you must protect the children at all costs. Well I guess she will get her money as he has filed for divorce and wants $169,000.00. He will not get it but he will get part of my IRA. I pray he dies befor the divorce is final then the children’s mother, his daughter, gets nothing and I have better benefits from his pension. All of his grandchildren are now adults. They hate me because I exposed all of this mess and called the police and CPS. We go to the grand jury next monday and I hope the arrest kills him. Do I sound like I am full of hate and anger. Well I am. But I am healing and my granddaughters are doing good. Nothing like explaining a grand jury to an 8 year old.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 21st October 2012

      Hi Kathleen
      Welcome to EFB
      It really is crazy that this daughter told you he was a child molester and yet sent her kids to visit. It’s different when someone has blocked the abuse out and suddnely remembers it, and realizes they have been sending thier kids there but this woman actually ‘warned you’ but sent her kids there. Why isn’t she being charged since she knew what he would do and placed her children in danger anyway?
      What a crazy world we live in.
      Hugs, Darlene

  9. By: Haneul Posted: 16th October 2012

    Thanks again, Darlene.

    It has been very helpful to read your story and those of others and to know that I am not alone. My mother was physically and emotionally abusive too- she is still cruel- but I think her not protecting me from those bad men did the worst damage in ways. It taught me that I was not worth protecting, and I still have have serious problems with intimacy and believing that anyone could really love me, and stand up for me. Recognizing and finally accepting that even so much later is the first step toward real healing. I live on a different continent from my mother now, and that helps a little, but I can’t run away from my memories.

    My heart breaks for you and all of the other men and women who have had bad parents. No parent is perfect, and there are worse parents who torture and kill their children, but abuse is abuse. Some people say I should just forget about it, and for the most part, I do live my life and am grateful for the many good things, but when the pain comes up again, it’s like walking around on a broken leg, even if no one else can see it.

    Hugs to you and all the others emerging from broken, and keep fighting- we are worth it!

  10. By: Haneul Posted: 15th October 2012

    I meant to add that I do have a father, who is still married to my mother. He was not clued-in to a lot of things, but didn’t really pay attention when he was. A good financial provider, but distant, and zero balls when it came to standing up to my mother or protecting me. He was always kind and generous to me, so I never hated him, but perhaps I should hate for not protecting me either. I guess I still can’t give up on the fantasy that at least one parent loved me, even if they did nothing to stop the other’s abuse.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 15th October 2012

      Hi Haneul
      welcome to emerging from broken
      Thank you for sharing your story. Never worry about the length of a post. I am very supportive of “getting out what needs to come out”. It is very painful to face the truth about our own parents. I went to great lengths to deny the truth about it but when I did face that truth (that is what this entire site is about) I overcame the manifestations of the past. (depression, dissociative identity etc) It is crazy to try to understand what our mothers were thinking when they warned us about grown men but still let us be around them! I am so sorry that all this abuse happened to you but you have certainly found the right website! You are not alone and we have great talks here about seeing thing in a new way in order to “emerge from broken”
      Hugs, Darlene

  11. By: Haneul Posted: 15th October 2012

    Dear Darlene,

    I’m so very sorry to hear about your experience.

    I just came across this website looking for some answers in relation to my horrible relationship with my mother. I’m 46 and it’s still causing me pain.

    My mother did the exact same thing with me, except it was my uncle, her younger brother, who was a known pedophile, and alcoholic.

    He molested my older cousin when she was four-years-old, and when I was around six, my mom told me about it and warned me to be careful around him, not to be alone with him, and not to do anything like gymnastics where he could see my panties or anything.

    I was alarmed, but still polite to him since she thought it was okay for me to be around him, and he was a charming guy in ways. At the same time, he really creeped me out, not just because of what my mom told me, but because of the way he stared at me and looked kind of crazy.

    Fortunately, I didn’t see this uncle more than two or three times a year when we went to my mom’s hometown to see her parents, but I remember at least once when she took me to his house too, and often had me hang out with him in my grandparent’s back yard with my younger brother. I could almost understand her taking the risk of having me see him at Christmas or whenever just to let me see my grandparents, but I don’t understand her forcing me to see him on the side. And she didn’t always watch me either.

    I found out later that my grandmother didn’t believe that her angel son was a molester, so she protected him. My mother also hated her mom, but wouldn’t stand up to her. My mother’s older sister, the mother of my cousin who was molested, never came to family gatherings, and I was told it was because she was a troublemaker and anti-social. I only found out as an adult that my Aunt only refused to come because she refused let my cousin, and her younger daughter near him. That Auntie is my hero now, and I wish my mom could have been more like her.

    When I was ten, at Thanksgiving my uncle lured me outside and tried to play a game with me where he succeeded in fondling me a little bit. I ran away and never told my mother because I thought she would blame me since I had been warned. After that, I tried to avoid him completely but still had to see him sometimes.

    Years later, when my own daughter was eight, my grandmother died. I went for the funeral and all the family was staying together at a remote mountain house. I also told my daughter about my uncle (whom she had not met before), and warned her to stay away from him too. After only a couple of hours there, I realized how insane it was for me to say the same thing to my daughter, and packed up and drove home late the night before the service. My mother was furious that I would dare to skip the funeral, and so were other family members, but they should have supported me. My uncle was, and likely still is, a creepy, alcoholic pedophile loser and should have never been welcome in our family. I told my mother I was leaving because he was dangerous, and finally told her he had fondled me, and said it was wrong to have expected me to protect myself. She denied then that she had ever warned me about him! That is so wrong, since she had, but if she hadn’t, that would have been even worse.

    I also found out even later that my grandfather had done some creepy things with my mother and her sisters, but my mother never even warned me about him, and I used to spend a lot of time alone with him. Fortunately, he never tried anything, but it still upsets me.

    I was molested by another uncle by marriage outside of the main family from ages 7-14, and I never told either because I thought my mother would blame me since I knew how she felt about my uncle. There was another guy, my Brownie Camp counselor, who never fondled me, but always hugged me and kissed my cheek and told me he loved me and that we would get married and just really creepy stuff. I begged my mom not to make me go back there, but she said I had to do it. He even showed up at my house with a giant box of craft supplies, and she just thanked him. In this case, I told her everything, and he wasn’t even part of her creepy family, but she still didn’t protect me.

    Lots more messed-up things happened after that, but not trying to write a novel here. Sorry for going on so long, but I just read your story, and it was so strikingly similar to mine that all of this flooded out. Thank you for giving me the platform to say all I have so far. Reading what I’ve written above makes me feel less crazy for still hating my mother. She was a good mother in many ways, and well educated with a master’s degree in psychology too, which make all of this more frustrating. At least she taught me how not to screw-up with my own daughter, and we have a close relationship. I would have died rather than make her go through the things I did- no way was any person going to mess with my baby!

    thanks for letting me vent.

    Many hugs to you too, Darlene 🙂

  12. By: Sarah Posted: 26th June 2012

    Wow, this website is a kind of relief for me. My parents did the same exact thing and I feel quite angry at them. My stupid drunken uncle was the perpetrator- when it happened to me I told my mom and my sister. My two sisters admitted that it had happened to them too. My stupid parents still went there and invited them to our house for parties. While i stayed away whenever they visited them. Then it happened again when he was “drunk” to my sister. They were too stupid to protect us and didnt want to hurt family ties. My grandpa is also a pedophile- he lived In another country and my parents were told he had a young girl he paid money for- they invited him over to our house with grandmother and aunt- he was old – I was an older teenager- I thought I locked the door to bathroom – he kept twisting the door and barged in while I was yelling to go away. He is “deaf” so he walked in ,went to bathroom, and ripped open the shower curtain and was just staring at me while I I was just bug eyed – why the hell would he open the shower curtain! Anyways my family is a bunch of losers I am furious at. They always failed to protect us! And another uncle did that to a cousin and it’s like everyone just ignores it. Thanks for the website. Btw my family is religious and they didn’t even protect “the innocent” what the heck!

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 26th June 2012

      Hi Sarah
      Welcome to Emerging from Broken
      I am sorry this happened to you too, but you have found the right website! There are huge discussions about all this stuff and hundreds of articles here.
      Please feel free to share often!
      Hugs, Darlene

  13. By: Jenna Posted: 8th April 2012

    Did you do any shame work? Or did you just realize the truth and that was that?

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 26th June 2012

      Jenna
      I worked on everything as it came up. The shame was something that mostly I had to work on realizing was not my shame. I looked at the feelings of shame and then at the truth about the event. The truth was that the shame was not mine and once I accepted that, that in itself was another layer of healing.
      Hugs, Darlene

  14. By: Joy Fitzpatrick Posted: 7th January 2012

    Hi, My grandpa when I was about 10, could’ve been earlier, but I was an early bloomer and I spent alot of time with him. he was our neighbor. He had just lost my grandma so I knew he was loney, so I guess that’s how I excussed it in my young mind. He would pull me close and kiss me hard on the mouth while sliding his hand up inbetween us. I tried to tell my older sister but she said he was just missing my grandma so don’t cause a family problem. But i was still expected to go and keep him company because I was his “favororite”

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 7th January 2012

      Hi Joy F.
      Welcome to Emerging from Broken. It is amazing how we justify and excuse this stuff all because as children we have no choice and no other way to comprehend it. I am so sorry that this happened to you. It was wrong and it was illegal.
      Thanks for sharing, hugs, Darlene

  15. By: dia Posted: 16th July 2011

    Thank you for posting your outrage and healing from this silence that brought low self esteem and broke your depression. It was a setup. I have listened to so many broken hearts of this same conditional family setting. Please realize you can have your innocence back.
    Also, I do not like facebook, they want your dateofbirth and phone number and there are too many predators getting this information. I warn people should not abide with these sign on criteria. Be careful.

    • By: Darlene Ouimet Posted: 17th July 2011

      Hi Dia
      I don’t think I can ever have my innocence back, but that is okay. I have healed and that is the awesome part!
      Thank you for your comments.
      Hugs, Darlene

  16. By: dia Posted: 16th July 2011

    Hello. I’ve only read a small portion of your story, but I know the majority of the world can relate to your abuse. Your mother was told to bring you to grandpas house she was traumatized from her abuse and a fearful slave to them. They broke her a long time ago, she is fragmented, and she has seen horrible things from both of these ill-guardians, in so much she is programmed by heavy suggestion and possible threats of blackmail, photos, et cetera. These type of species generally do not work alone but we the victims have been shown the predator is a loner. this predator is profiled over and over as if these criminals are all on the same pages of their criminal manuals, conclusion we are dealing with a species that feeds on the fear and control of their victims. This abuse affect the victims brain. PTS treatment like coming out of the shock of war.
    I pray your mind will heal. And no you do not forgive those who will not repent nor say they are sorry nor want to make restitution. You must become a warrior now as you can see this deviant is everywhere.

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